With COVID-19 on the top of everyone's mind, you may be wondering how a surrogacy journey will be impacted. Below are some frequently asked questions that we hope will be helpful. Of course, please don't hesitate to reach out to us with your questions or concerns. We're here for you!
Are you still accepting program applications?
Absolutely! A surrogacy journey is a lengthy process. There are many steps that we can take even while we work remotely. Our team is still here and working harder than ever to make sure your surrogacy experience is all that you hope for.
What is a virtual consultation like?
While we love meeting with Intended Parents face to face, we're thankful for modern technology! A virtual consultation is the same as an in-person consultation. Sessions are at least an hour in length. We hear your story. We review the entire surrogacy process with you and get a good understanding of your hopes and expectations. We go over all journey costs (not just our agency fees). We get you in touch with our SeedCoach financial advisors who will help you budget, meet savings goals, and identify funding opportunities. If you need the assistance of other professionals after our consultation, we will make direct referrals on your behalf.
Should I be worried about the stability of Hawaii Surrogacy as an agency?
You should always carefully consider how long an agency has been operating. Hawaii Surrogacy Center has been operating for over a decade and is financially stable. We have had steady growth, even in times of global uncertainty. Our milestone-based payment plan offers outstanding protection and flexibility for Intended Parents. Moreover, your surrogate's compensation is held by an independent, fully insured and highly-respected escrow firm. We never co-mingle funds and are passionate about financial transparency.
Are surrogates trying to make money in difficult financial times?
Surrogacy is a significant financial and emotional commitment. The average compensation of $40,000 or more that a surrogate receives can have a positive impact on her family's financial security. However, while the monetary benefits are great, we feel that surrogates in our program are motivated to give the priceless gift of hope to another family during these uncertain times. Becoming a surrogate is not "easy" money. A surrogacy journey takes 15 months or more, involves lots of medical appointments, injections, and risk. Many potential surrogate candidates aren't able to complete our rigorous screening process.
All surrogates must meet certain requirements, including:
Find Surrogate and Build Your Family
If you are an intended parent looking for a surrogate and interested in learning more about our process.
Frequently Asked Questions
Over the years, clients have shared their hopes and concerns with our staff here at Hawaii Surrogacy. We have compiled this brief summary of common questions and challenges that parents often face with the hope that you will find reassurance as you embark on your surrogacy journey.
We have never had this happen before, but this is always a concern on behalf of Intended Parents. All gestational carriers undergo extensive evaluation from a physical and emotional standpoint. They are educated about the process and given several questions to think about before they make the commitment to become a surrogate (see below).
We also emphasize to all our surrogates that this is a family-based decision. The entire surrogacy process can have an impact on a marriage and family duties. Problems arise when a gestational carrier is unsupported during the process (ex. spouse is lukewarm to the idea) or has other than altruistic primary motivations (ex. financial). Our screening process ensures that the surrogates in our program fully understand the commitment they are making on behalf of themselves and their families.
It is so important that parents are very open and honest during the matching process. Sometimes parents withhold information because they do not want to "scare away" a gestational carrier. You want to be open about your feelings and concerns early on, especially when it comes to issues like abortion or selective reduction. A gestational carrier may get nervous if she does not know your position on sensitive issues. As you go through the matching and contract process, we will address these issues in great detail. It is imperative that you think about your preferences ahead of time. For couples, you should discuss these matters with each other openly and come to an agreement that we can place into your contract with your gestational carrier.
Often, the gestational carrier becomes pregnant on the first attempt. However, in some cases it takes more than one try. When an embryo transfer fails, both the surrogate and the parents feel disappointment – this can be intense. Both parties will wonder what they did wrong.
These feelings are all normal. It is important though that we stay action oriented and come up with a plan for another attempt. The clinic can implant more embryos or re-evaluate issues of embryo quality. The gestational carrier can also try some lifestyle changes to increase the chance of successful implantation. You can even change gestational carriers. This is within your right, and IPs should not feel guilty about making that kind of choice. Our agency will help you make an informed decision about next steps after an unsuccessful embryo transfer.
Your gestational carrier will be carrying your child, but it is her body. How does one express concerns? Is there anything that is "off limits?" Being an Intended Parent is not an easy journey, as it requires that you relinquish control. We do our best as an agency to match you with a gestational carrier whose lifestyle and values are similar to yours. We find that this goes a long way to minimize conflicts. There are times (particularly in the week before the embryo transfer and the two or three weeks following) where you will feel quite stressed and concerned about whether your gestational carrier is following her medical protocol carefully and resting adequately. It helps if you attend critical appointments so you can see the progress she is making. If you ever have concerns, please tell us as an agency. We are there to communicate to your gestational carrier in a caring, but professional manner. We only want the best outcome for your surrogacy journey and it is important to remember that your gestational carrier feels the same way.
We find that this question is asked by many Intended Mothers, especially those who have experienced a pregnancy in the past. Bonding is a long process. There are many steps you can take to remain connected to your baby. Certainly keeping abreast of all the developmental changes and attending critical appointments will help you keep strong ties during the pregnancy (never hesitate to ask for ultrasound pictures). It is helpful to keep a journal with your feelings about your baby's growth and impending motherhood. Many parents say that they have conversations with their baby in utero. You can still have those conversations. Write them down and read them to your baby (plus this is a precious keepsake). Some intended mothers will also try induced lactation so they can bond with their baby through breastfeeding. This can be challenging, but has worked for some moms. We are happy to connect you with lactation consultants here on Oahu who will be supportive of your wishes.