Do my pictures need to be professionally done? How much information do I need to share? Why do surrogates keep passing up our profile? There’s no such thing as an ideal matching profile, but here are some tips for building a strong profile that will give a clear impression to the right surrogate for you.
The first section of your profile is “About” you. You don’t have to share every detail of your journey, as we know that can be very hard to talk about. However, surrogacy is an intimate process. Your carrier is sharing their body to help you grow your family. They want to know what you’ve been through and feel that you can trust them with this information.
Know Your Values
When asked to share what qualities are most important, don’t waste this space by stating the obvious. For instance, “no drugs or risky activities.” A carrier cannot be part of our program with a cocaine habit and a penchant for skydiving without a parachute. What we’re looking for are key values for the journey like a sense of humor when things get tough, an open communicator, or someone with a strong faith. While we also require a healthy lifestyle, if it’s really important to you that your carrier eats organic and exercises daily, please state that.
Often, we see Intended Parents who want to be matched quickly and/or feel so grateful that someone would carry for them that they don’t want to come across as demanding or high-maintenance. So their answers to profile questions are completely non-specific and offer no insight into who they are and what they value. You do want to stand out to a surrogate. So even if you truly don’t care if your surrogate gives you a weekly update, please don’t answer every question as, “Open to anything.” A better profile response would be: “We are really relaxed and know that the surrogate has her own life and family. We appreciate updates, but she shouldn’t feel pressure to let us know every little thing that is happening.”
Pictures Say a Thousand Words
Please upload at least 3-5 pictures on your profile. They don’t have to be professionally done! We asked a few surrogates what pictures they appreciate the most and we got major kudos for pictures of you with your pets if you have them, pictures of you on trips or going places that are special to you, and finally pictures with who you define as your family and supporters. Do you know why these were the most favored? Because they really show who you are and who this baby will be surrounded and loved by.
One of the best features of our matching system is the ability to upload a video. It can be a very effective way of telling your story and connecting with a potential surrogate. However, we totally understand that it can be super awkward to put together. If you’re stumped and need some professional help, we recommend Introduction Productions. They will help you put together a great, short video for use in your matching profile.
… So, why do surrogates keep passing up our profile?
You may be one of our Intended Parents who has a phenomenal profile. You’ve followed all the tips we’ve shared above and you’re still waiting for a match. The reason isn’t that there’s a deficiency in your profile. We have asked surrogates why they passed on some IPs and they all say there is nothing that made them turn away from others. Rather, the IPs they did choose jumped out as a perfect fit.
Often it was a special, personal connection. They reminded them of a family member or close friend. They went to the same high school. They had similar interests like a deep love of dance.
Your surrogacy journey is a precious experience. Your matching profile is only the beginning of that relationship. Do your best to be open, honest and genuine, and the right surrogate will feel that special connection with you.